a little bit of heaven

roxie and i have had a long strange journey together. sometimes we love each other, sometimes we don't. her noises make no sense to me, and i'm pretty sure she has no idea what my noises mean either. despite all this turmoil (does she love me or hate me?) i continue to pick her up everyday to snuggle. dad, for the time being, has gotten over roxie but i still think she should be played with a lot. since i'm moving soon, i've upped my holdings of roxie to approximately 3 a day. i like to think of it as building up a surplus for the coming drought. since i'm not a big fan of touching, i never really understand the certain nuances that can occur or how things can change. really, i just don't understand touching. i think its like if i only thought the color blue came in one shade. touching is just one shade for me. but this afternoon i was transformed into a giant puddle of love by roxie. her legs are really little so i guess i always just assumed her whole body was against me but today i actually felt her chill out and really nestle in. it was SO GREAT. this little furry creature just melted into me, she completely relaxed and all of a sudden it was a much deeper, sweeter snuggle with her huge belly pressed against me. now i am entirely addicted. it was all i could talk about during dinner and i have decided that i want a minimum of 12 guinea pigs all over my body relaxing at the same time. this will clearly never happen and it kind of freaks me out but it could also turn out to be that much better. i have internally settled this dilemma by compromise: if the opportunity of 12 guinea pigs is offered to me i will take it, but, if not, i will not actively seek it out. i'm turning into such a rational grown up. yay roxie.

we find mobility exciting

today we got a new wheelchair that is super cool. it has features we had not even imagined - like arms that come off so it can fit under a table or padded backs for his legs when they are resting. amazing! my excitement level was off the charts, but eventually it wore off on the rest of the family. dad wheeled himself outside and he made it all over the house all by himself. we then called everyone we know to share the news. watch out world, independent george is on his way.

it is kind of like narnia

this is the way to my favorite place. not only are trains lucky, generally, but these railroad tracks, in particular, also seem magical each time i walk down them. i am scared to give any more information away due to overpopulation concerns.

acceptance is key

today was a day of destruction for the possessions of one n.e.b. i will begin at the beginning. chopin and i go to the pharmacy but i forget i have cough drops in the car. i come back and they are all eaten. during lunch i get up to help dad and come back to chopin licking my plates clean while half way up on the couch. after lunch, i clean roxie's cage, placing her inside the wire with her little hutch and food dish. foolishly watching roxie so she does not become a small snack, i neglect to move to the food dish when i am done cleaning and am placing her back into the cage. chopin eats every morsel of guinea pig food. we appear to spend the rest of the day together in relative peace. much sleeping is had by my adorable dog. at approximately 7:10pm i enter my bedroom. my plastic tower of drawers, otherwise known as my extremely tall nightstand, is on the floor. the lamp shade has come off the lamp due to the impact of falling 4 and 1/2 feet. two candles have been shattered. everything is out of the drawers, covered in glass. a box of vitamins has been eaten. my make-up has been chewed on. (i know: make-up, but i'm serious). any clothes on the floor, which is really all my clothes, have to be shaken and washed to avoid glass shards. the vacuum clogs due to the heavy use for torn paper, broken glass, and dog hair. it was quite a destructive dog day indeed. oddly enough, as annoyed as i was with her i recognized it was all my fault. she is a dog. i should have emptied the car, not had food anywhere within her reach, and closed my bedroom door. the verdict is still out on whether this hairy monster is worth it but i'm going to chalk today up to my poor choices. my middle name now becomes vigilance. the end.

tongue cleaner

everywhere i go i leave a toothbrush. really, it is any toiletries. for some reason i always forget to check the bathroom the morning before i leave, things always get hectic with packing and goodbyes and the next thing i know, someone is calling me to ask whether i want my toothbrush and other forgotten items sent home. my mom has noticed this trend and called me out on it. i'm not sure i even noticed it until she pointed it out. regardless, because she is the world's most thoughtful and considerate human being, the other day she bought numerous toothbrushes and left them in the upstairs bathroom. since i was excited they were new and looked very modern, i took one on my current trip and have been utilizing its capabilities. one of which is a tongue cleaner on the back of the toothbrush head. so now the insides of my cheeks are exfoliated while i brush my teeth (two for the price of one) in addition to me having a handy little tool to scrape my tongue each night. totally hot. but what they don't tell you is that it tickles. my toothbrush tremendously tickled my tantalizing tongue this thursday. now try saying that 10 times fast.

these days are the worstest

i wasn't going to write because we are all so sad and our hearts are breaking and broken. but then i got mad because no one can take away good thoughts and feelings and, if there is one thing i think life is about, it is healing. so we're healing and growing and mourning together. there is beauty in that, not an easy beauty but a hard beauty - one that leaves us breathless and gasping because we have already been destroyed and need anything to hang on to, especially each other. so i'm trying to share it up and talk about my day.

sunday i went on an adventure to circuit city to purchase a new stereo. i was apprehensive about this endeavor for two reasons: 1. i just bought a new stereo two years ago and it's broken which seems wasteful 2. i didn't want to purchase another cheap thing only to have it break because i am not made of money. i picked out something i felt was reasonably priced but almost fainted when i got to the counter, heard the actual price with everything included, and then accused the cashier of "hidden charges." he alleged this was not true. sometimes a girl has to be a little feisty. hidden charges or not, my new pretty stereo was installed and i have been rocking out for the past few days since i have not only a cd player but can also hook up my ipod. wowza. yay for music in the car again!

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

~Mohandas K. Gandhi

it's all in the family

think george and nancy were the only ones to tackle guitar hero with a seriousness rivaled only by professional musicians?

think again, my friends.

(don't let my cousin's smile fool you)

we play nicely with (some) blood relatives

our cousin and her family came early the other night so chopin josephine had not yet been taken to the kennel where we decided she was better off with numerous little people about our house for the next few days. after three hours of pleading, i decided that i could get the dog from down the hill and, if i carefully held her, the kids could at least pet her because she really is so cute and soft. wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles, chopin came inside, sniffed the children while they stood quietly, then laid down sweetly and let everyone calmly pet her. i was shocked. after about 5 minutes she let out a quiet growl, without a nasty face, and was then escorted back outside after being lovely in every way.

since chopin was not at the house today, our attention turned to roxie. after being bribed with numerous carrots, apples, and alfalfa, roxie came out of her cage and played with everyone the majority of the day. and i can't imagine it is easy being petted by 6 hands all day long. my cousin's youngest baby is 2 and she and roxie had a lot of fun contemplating each other while the rest of us watched happy feet. roxie also very sweetly nibbled off travis's hang nail, which he decided really had been bothering him. what loving pets are in the bell house these days!

uno, dos, tres

first day







second day











third day







flowers for you

backlog

i have been sickity and doing a lot of this:


so i've not been posting but i have tons of lovely posts so i'm just going to post a ridiculous amount today. hooray.

you don't know what you've got til it's gone

the appearance of my stomach is something i tried to get over at age 10. i missed having a smooth, normal stomach but i loved my scars too. and since then, i've tried not to think about it much. i take pictures before each surgery just for documentation purposes; however, the post-10-year-old holes have only added to my stomach's landscape. unfortunately, it turns out that i was really attached to my belly button. it always hurts to poke inside it and sometimes i get really obsessive about cleaning it thoroughly but, on the whole, i guess i really love-love-loved it. today i came to terms with the fact that, for better or worse, its composition has permanently changed. my belly button is now more squinty and the skin under it is a weird new valley of tension. clearly, it is a small price to pay for healthy nancy but since i'm a shallow, selfish sort of person (bummer, i know) i really miss the way it used to be. i feel like even if it did have surgeries through it before it still appeared the same. and i'd had that belly button for 25 years and always kind of liked it. outies be damned, i'm an innie all the way. farewell old belly button, you were well loved. hello new belly button!

expressive silence

this post is in honor of my 3 hour drive today without a cd player:






who can i call?





this sucks.






i'm sleepy.